H.A.L.T.
Something not so good happens to us when we are uneasy. We get cranky. We may say or do things which are inappropriate. We may find ourselves in a recorded situation that has gone viral (as if our original irritation was not enough).
In essence, we lose control. I’ve done it. You may have done it. Needless to say, if you spend any time at all behind the steering wheel you have seen others do it, too.
It is impossible to eliminate every stressor and/or every irritation from our lives, but there are several CAUSES of crankiness (which push us to the place of feeling out of control) which are WITHIN our own control. In other words, we can control the extent to which certain stressors can “get” at us.
Almost everyone who has had a college-level psychology class has heard this one, but it actually helps. You need to H.A.L.T.
HALT stands for:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
When you are feeling worked up, it is a good time to STOP (see the play on words here?) and evaluate if the irritation has something to do with an unmet physical need. Frustrations, for me, occur much more frequently when my being is screaming for help. In fact, I could expand this short list of 4 issues to include…Loud Noises, Lots of Moving Parts (people everywhere), and Time Pressure (I will include 4 more before the end ). You may have a couple to add as well.
In any case, let’s just stick with H.A.L.T. for now. The critical part of this evaluation is developing an awareness of your own needs.
HUNGRY:
Kassondra Glenn, LMSW, a social worker and addiction specialist at Diamond Rehab, says, “It is well-researched that human behavior changes when we are hungry, where hunger causes us to value the short term over the long term and leads to hastiness with decisions. Chemicals released in our brain also change when we are hungry, to chemicals which then heighten anger, in response.”
Although it does not fit well with advertising, a candy bar is one of the least preferred methods of dealing with being “hangry.” You need long-lasting nutrition and energy so you don’t bounce between making poor decisions and feeling giddy from sugar. A cola or coffee is probably also a no-no. Stick with water and some nuts or cheese; those might get you started toward making decisions based on logic rather than emotions.
ANGRY:
Almost everyone knows that anger makes you “lose your head.” It does. I have done really dumb things when angry before…and afterward I have asked myself, “Self, what were you thinking?” I know what Self was thinking…it wasn’t…it was operating badly out of full emotion. In college I knew a woman who threw her engagement ring out in the lawn out of anger…and never found it. There went $600 (it was a long time ago, when that was a semi-quality ring).
Since that is the issue with anger, we have to find a way to slow it down and allow ourselves to do some thinking. It is good to do some deep measured breathing, walking, or any other thing that will allow us to release the emotion without doing something dumb.
LONELY:
Most people need people. It is a matter of mental well-being. This could be why some young adults end up being with the wrong person (someone is better than no one?). Nevertheless, boredom, depression, or a feeling of unease can be the result of being alone.
This may be easier to deal with than many think. My single adult daughter plays in community sports, and has several friends (married and single) with whom she spends time. Some people get together with co-workers; yet for most that could be the exact wrong thing to do (be careful how much you tell some co-workers about yourself). I meet with a discussion group almost every week where each person is respectfully allowed to have the floor (and no one abuses the privilege). One person I know has decided to pick up an instrument. Another older lady I know goes on bus tours three times a year. She usually knows several others who do likewise, and always meets someone interesting.
So, there are many options. Just don’t choose an option which creates more problems. One fella’ I know chooses the wrong option for himself…going to the bar…and often over-imbibes. Stay away from the racetrack, the casino, or the local tavern. Instead, find a group that cleans up river-banks.
TIRED:
I know what being tired does to me…I always get grouchy. It also reduces my driving skills. Others find the same to be true.
So, this week I turned down free bowling and pizza with co-workers. I had not slept well and I knew I would not have a clear head. So, I stayed home and read a bit…and took a nap. Thankfully, I did not HAVE to work that day.
Even if you THINK lack of sleep does not affect you…it does. It affects almost everyone negatively.
Conclusion: There are many other causes of bad behavior, among them are Hurt, Arrogance, Lust, and Trauma. So, write out a list of the ways you get yourself into trouble. I think you will find that many are preventable…which is the point of this post. Learn to HALT.
Copyright 2023 Donald Whelpley
[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms, as I do, and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him elsewhere. ~ Sherry]
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