GUEST POST from Don – Wisdom Is Smart

WISDOM IS SMART

I admit that sometimes I agree with what others write, perhaps not often.  I saw an article by Darius Foroux “Lessons I Learned the Hard Way.”  His lessons have been experienced by many and usually lead to failure.  It isn’t that his ideas are wrong, they just aren’t terribly right.  It is my wish to improve on the theme and in the following words give you, or someone you care about, a chance to avoid “the hard lessons” of Mr. Foroux.

Time & Money.  You’ve heard that time moves faster as you age.  What you haven’t heard, yet true, is that money moves faster, too.  As a kid you might be happy to have a couple dollars.  As a young adult you may get by with $400 a week.  But as a person about to retire you probably require more than a $1,500 a week just to keep up with overhead.  That’s when you want to stop, but your money is moving too fast and you could sprain a knee trying to get off the treadmill.

Career & Retirement.  We ask kids the wrong question (“What do you want to be when you grow up?”)  The better question is “What do you want to be when you retire?”  Careers are usually temporary, and they average 1/8th of your life, but retirement is the rest of your life (24/7/365).  Do you want to be married and have adult children?  What will you do that will make you joyful?  Whatever you want to do when you retire you’ll need to spend 45 years practicing it.

Your Ideal Spouse.  Anyone can waste time with the wrong person.  Ordinary Joe or Jane do this, and regret it.  What if you didn’t have to regret being with the wrong person?  The best way to avoid the regret is to find the person who will satisfy you in 25 years.  Its a look at the long road.  Who is that person?  What about that ideal person is permanently satisfying?  Unfortunately, most young people think they can “test drive” a few models before choosing the right one.  Nah, that is what boringly average people do…and they waste 6,8, or 10 years with the wrong “test” models (and sometimes learn nothing in the process)!  If you give this one thing the right amount of thought, you won’t waste years trying on the wrong people.  You will have a better chance of finding that person who is caring, kind, and resourceful rather than the god or goddess who only thinks of himself or herself.  (A soon-to-come post will describe “The Top Ingredient” daters should look for.)

Being the Ideal Spouse.  While you’re writing down the things which would make “an ideal spouse,” you should also write down the things which could make YOU “an ideal spouse.”  Rugged looks and owns a Harley probably shouldn’t be at the top of that list.  A recent survey showed that a majority of women are looking for a tall man (5’11” to 6’4”) with good hair, but you can’t change genetics.  What you CAN change are attitude, language usage, education, virtues, and skills.

Add Virtue.  You don’t have to be religious to be virtuous.  If you are religious you will find virtue helpful to your faith, but everyone can be virtuous.  What counts?  Courage, of course, but also accountability.  Accountability means you allow your spouse to see everything you send and receive via emails and texts.  If you don’t want your closest ally to see it, don’t send it.  Virtue is also having a standard of behavior, speech, and even thought.  What you do, say, and think should please those closest to you including your spouse, kids, parents, and best friends.  Practice this.

AMEN.  Frugality is the Path to Freedom.  Yes, you CAN buy anything if you bank enough money, though maybe you “mightn’t.”  Never think that you can spend money you don’t have.  That makes you a bank slave.  My goal is to have money I don’t need (and no, you can’t have it!).  How?  I don’t spend foolishly.  My wife tells me, “Throw out those socks, they have more holes than fabric.”  I think, “Umm!  Maybe I can get one more use out of them.”  I don’t buy note paper.  Many pieces of junk mail have a clean side.  That’ll work for shopping lists and scribble paper.  Who’s going to check to find if it’s from some mortuary ad?

Tell the Truth.  Those who tell the truth have a mind free of clutter.  Lying means remembering to whom you told “story A” and to whom you told “story B.”  Funny thing about a lie is that it always has at least one nasty partner lie whose job is to explain how, where, when, or with whom.  Keep it simple, tell the truth and save your brain for more important functions.

Peace of Mind Requires Work.  Confront hard issues and solve them quickly.  You won’t be able to ignore these AND have peace.  Take charge of the tough stuff, then enjoy the weekend.  Peace comes when the enemy is utterly defeated and not a moment sooner.

Choose Friends Wisely.  So much time is wasted with worthless relationships.  Your drinking buddies aren’t your buddies, they are merely other people who drink.  Your gossip group doesn’t care about you.  Choose people who will help you be a better you.  Are you learning, developing a caring attitude, appreciating a new skill?  Those are good results your worthwhile friends can help you achieve.

Mind your Mind.  I am discovering that my mind is not in charge of me.  I decide, not my mind.  What comes out of my mouth can be changed BY ME.  What my mind thinks can be changed BY ME.  So many guys and gals are miserable because they allow their minds to control their thinking, saying, and doing.  If you operate solely on autopilot you have no one to blame but yourself.

You can Make a Difference.  Actually, you can make every day brighter by doing something smarter, better, or more thoughtfully.  The other day I saw a woman in the store with 4 children under 6.  She was capably handling them.  Those were her choices.  However, I exited the store about the same time and offered to return her cart.  That was my choice.  (Look for a post about shopping carts coming soon.)  

Finally, Avoid Stupid.  Stupid people are everywhere.  Don’t be one.  For every issue there are 4 possible choices.  2. Selfish is when only you get your way.  3. Victim is when only the other gets his or her way.  4.  Stupid is when neither gets his or her way.  (Road rage is stupid because no one wins.)  You may think “well, there are several OK ways.”  Not true, there is only ONE best right way.  1. Smart is when both parties are satisfied.  

Hopefully, we can happily avoid the problems others experienced.  We don’t have to repeat the past, you know!

Copyright 2025 Donald Whelpley

[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]

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