GUEST POST from Don – Preparing for Widowhood, part II

PREPARING FOR WIDOWHOOD, part II

This is something no one wants to think about.  We should prepare because it WILL happen.

BIG QUESTION:  ^^ What should you do to give the greatest benefit to yourself or your spouse after a death? ^^

(Continuing answer, go back and read Part I)…

GATHER IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS.  You will need birth certificates, Social Security Cards, bank and investment documents, life insurance policies, marriage certificates, and your estate plan in ONE PLACE and secure from fire and flood.  You might want to keep a contact list here (makes it easier during emotional times).

Include a sheet by each partner recording burial/service wishes.  I want to be “extra crispy.”  Others may prefer burial in the family plot next to Aunt Betty (buried in 1972).

MORE IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS (sorta’).
Here is where “LISTS” matter…
1. Request at least 10 certified Death Certificate copies (you’ll need them)
2. Lists of applications to make – Survivor’s Benefits from Life Insurance, Employer Benefits, Veterans Benefits and Social Security.
3. Lists of Financial Institutions to notify.
4. Lists of Revisions to make – Titles & Deeds, Legal Documents (wills, trusts), Insurances (homeowners and auto policies)

THAT THING THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT.  … Peace!
Most of us know that there is MORE to our lives than this world.  For those who think we live, die, and rot … where’s the peace we desire for ourselves and our beloved spouses?  That leaves nothing hopeful for the survivors.  If I thought that was the totality of our existence I would never have agreed to father children … why would I condemn another generation to such a hopeless end?

No!  There has to be a REAL reason for having offspring or being faithful in marriage.  I want something for my spouse and kids beyond 70 years (along with the risks, pain, and trouble that comes with them).

I don’t plan to “rest in peace.”  I plan to “thrive at peace.”  That’s the hope and direction of faith in Christ.  He rose from the grave to give that assurance.  This is the most important of all the preparations we can make.  It also provides solid comfort to the grieving.

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT SPOUSAL SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS.
To receive spousal benefits you must be 62 or older, been married to that person for at least 10 years, and you should consider what employment will do to that benefit.  The best time to apply is at your Full Retirement Age (FRA) because that is when the fewest issues get in the way, but if you are facing poverty, apply at 62.  You can’t remarry and still receive spousal benefits (I know several widows who had to face this awful choice, because the spousal benefits are gone forever if you do).  Employment can impact benefits.  From age 62 until the YEAR of your FRA (beginning January of the year you will reach FRA) income is limited to about $1,675 per month before you begin to lose benefits.  [In January of the YEAR you will reach your FRA you can earn over $4,100 per month.  Then at FRA there are no limits on employment earnings.]

PLAN TO GIFT.  For each partner there be that one thing (or more) they have always wanted to share with someone.  So, write a note to that person.  Tell him or her what the object has meant to you and why you believe he or she would treasure it.  When one partner dies, it is a good time for those items (from both the deceased and the survivor) to be shared.  Why wait until the family is tossing boxes in the dumpster for someone to realize that that one special item has been lost or misplaced?  The family has an entire house to deal with at that point.  Maybe a nephew loved to play with your hammer and saw whenever he came over when younger.  Maybe it is a porcelain figurine your niece appreciated.  Pass them on to show how much you thought of that person.  

UNCLUTTER.  Empty the attic and basement when you retire.  Bet you won’t find a single thing in the attic that anyone WANTS!  But now’s the time to make life simpler for the eventual surviving spouse and heirs.  The china?  Few children or grandchildren will want that.  One of our daughters has ours … and she uses it as daily service.  Keep your tools and sewing stuff (if you still use them).  But you don’t need that birdcage (the bird died 32 years ago).   Besides, you won’t want to go into the attic after 75 and soon after you won’t want to make trips to the basement.  Throw out that busted rake you always meant to repair.  You’ll never use those empty “I Can’t Believe its Not Butter” containers, either.  If you’re up to it, have a few yard sales and, after that, donate to the local resale shop.  Most “estates” end up mostly land-filled, so don’t “hide” your bearer bonds in an old coffee can.

REVIEW ALL DOCUMENTS AND ACCOUNTS.  Do this together.  You may not want your first wife named as beneficiary on your life insurance anymore.  You may want to update your bank accounts every 18 months (a bank account becomes “inactive” if there’s no activity over 2 years … and it is a pain to get it back from the government).  Consolidate and reduce number of savings, checking, and investment accounts.  Create an “event” calendar so you’ll remember when to sign up for your pension, Social Security, Medicare (different sign up than Social Security), when your life insurance policy lapses, when to begin receiving your RMD (Required Minimum Distribution) from IRAs, when to replace roof, reminders to keep accounts active (see note above), etc.

THROW OUT THOSE SHOES!  You’ve already de-cluttered, but when will you ever use those shoes again?  Same with clothes.  [I found a pair of undershorts someone gave me for my 40th birthday sitting unused in a tote.  I decided to wear that worded pair of shorts.  Why not?  Either that or donate.  I also found a pair of casual shoes I was saving for … when?  Use or toss!]  I’ve mentioned this before, you should use those sheets, blankets, towels, and potholders which are raggedy and worn.  What are you saving them for?  Use or toss!  Finally, rags!!!  Don’t you have enough already?  Dumpster half of them.  I’ve just cleared off a shelf in your hall closet for you.

Life is hard, dealing with death is harder … make that less difficult by preparing your estate, your finances, and your closets.

Copyright 2026 Donald Whelpley

[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]

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