She Didn’t Mean To… 😒

Maisie is about the best service dog there is. She stays constantly with me, anticipates my needs, and is nearly flawless in her work with me here at home. She has never – AND WOULD NEVER – intentionally hurt me. But sometimes things happen…

If you read my Health updates you know that the last few weeks have been extremely tough. I won’t go into all of that here; suffice it to say that every hour of every day is a struggle with intense pain and lack of mobility. I feel quite fragile…but maybe I’m stronger than I thought; I survived.

Today Emma was here working inside, and Jared and Pete were working outside. Maisie had to go out, so I clipped her leash onto her harness, and opened the door while saying her “go potty” word so she knew what was expected (as opposed to going in the car, or taking me for a walk, or playing ball, for example). But before the words were out of my mouth, she bolted. She yanked me out the door onto my ramp, I was losing my balance and trying to grab for the rails while giving her commands that she was totally ignoring. She was pulling me down the ramp as I tried to stay upright…pulling and jerking on my diseased spine, twisting my legs which felt like they were tearing apart inside…neither she nor I had known that FedEx was right outside, delivering an order, standing in the driveway with Pete and Jared.

I had ceased to exist had absolutely no control. My strength has been waning for a while now, and just hanging onto her was all I could do. Emma was shocked – she couldn’t believe it. And, later, neither could I. I haven’t seen her like that in YEARS, not since I got her as a very strong, all-but-feral, totally untrained or socialized animal…

It probably only lasted a few seconds. Pete didn’t notice that I was in trouble, apparently. I was on my own. How we got back those few feet back into the house I don’t remember. And I am a mess. Pain from head to toe. I thought these last few weeks were the worst I had ever been through – until now. It is indescribable so I won’t even try. Everything that’s wrong with my body all of these years is now magnified x100. This. Is. A. Nightmare.

Afterward, in the house, I unclipped her leash and dropped onto my day bed. She went across the room to the ottoman, layed down, looked at me, and her entire demeanor changed. Her head dropped and she just stared – until that point I don’t think that she even realized, she was so “not Maisie” during those moments. Emma came out to the living room and we were talking about how stunned we were that that had happened, and Maisie slowly made her way to me, got up next to me in her support position (holding me up when the vertigo worsens), and raised her face up to gently lick my chin a couple of times. I believed, in that moment, she was as stunned as we were – as I was. She and I are so much in tune and I think she was mortified and in deep sorrow.

Was it the FedEx driver that caused that reaction in her? I’m only guessing here. Maybe she thought something bad was happening to Pete and Jared? Maybe maybe maybe – I have never seen that, not even when a deer is right outside, or a rabbit, or a neighbor. She has never done such a thing when she’s with me…and I would have never, ever, ever have expected such a thing to happen. But it shows that animals, as reliable as a good trained one is, are still not machines. There will always be that little chance of the unpredictable. No matter who that animal is. Even if it is Maisie.

Typically I can find a semi-comfortable position to sit or lay down, but not now. The pain in my diseased joints and the soft tissues that are damaged from trying to support them is nonstop. My ability to move is further hampered, and certainly not without increased pain. I am on fire from head to toe. I have taken every pain med I have, and slathered my pain ointments everywhere I can reach… I don’t think Pete even realizes how bad this is. (He’s dealing with a bad knee right now.)

And I know she didn’t mean to hurt me – Maisie would never intentionally hurt me, our 6 years together has shown me that. I will relive those seconds over and over again and try to make it make sense, though I doubt I’ll be able to. Meanwhile…wow…I’m a mess…

7 thoughts on “She Didn’t Mean To… 😒

  1. Oh MY! I’m so very, very sorry for BOTH you and Maisie. To our Heavenly Father, extra long, pleading prayers are for BOTH of you to regain what you have lost through this ordeal…IMMEDIATELY! Such a tragedy.

  2. OH SHERRY!! I am so very sorry! As Annette says, such a tragedy. So traumatic. Wish I could be there to – well, idk what I could do. And sweet Maisie. Of course she didn’t mean to. Gonna go now and pray for you and your household. I love you all!

  3. I did see Maisie come out the door and I turned from the FedEx guy to yell to Maisie “Go back inside”.
    I didn’t realize Maisie was out of control and even if I had seen what was happening I still would not have been able to rush to help you because of my knee. Not going to play Monday Morning Quarterback – nothing can change what happened in the past. I pray to God that all this pain will subside .

  4. so sorry that happened wish I had an answer as to why it happened but I can’t even answer that on my own home ,I do pray your pain eases quickly

    1. Thanks Heidi, it was a shocker for sure…but today she more than made up for it (I’ll be writing about that tomorrow) after “we” were attacked by a weimeraner “support dog” – or so the vest said. She made me so proud!

  5. Just a thought: I’m thinking cattle ramps. The dog can’t jump off the edge and there’s a gate at the bottom or closer to the door, if you want. Clip him to his leash at the gate (or at the door) but he can’t just run from the house. He’s safe and so are you.

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