Life As It Is Now: My TBI Six-month-iversary

I won’t bother going through the details that led up to this point, as I made a video, then wrote about all that at the time, and I’ve written about most of the things that have happened as a result between then and now. No need to repeat all that.

This is now:

PAIN – Headache, always (plus sudden sensations of being clubbed or stabbed at times, many times a day). Wake up with a 2-3/10 typically and it rises through the day with activity. Mental or physical. Mornings are my best time, if I don’t produce then, I may not produce at all. Since the accident I usually sleep from 9-14 hours a night. Sometimes 3-4. No in-between. Often need a nap. When pain level gets to 6-7 I have to go to bed for the day. Usually.

ET CETERA – At times: vertigo. vision changes. digestive/appetite changes. balance issues. anxiety. depression. in no particular order.

TRIGGERS – Bright light. Noise. Concentration. Sensory Input. Too much going on in my environment. Thinking. Reading. Problem-Solving. Overwhelming…stuff. Bending over. Looking up. Turning around. in no particular order.

COMMUNICATION – Difficult at best, often. My nearly error-free 165 wpm typing speed is now half that, with the letters scrambled within words, words scrambled within sentences, often. Re-re-re-reading/correcting is exhausting. Especially later in the day. Understanding what is being said, when my brain is tired or pain levels are higher, is difficult. When I act on, or reply to, something Pete (usually, since we’re always together) says he tells me, “that’s not what I said at all.” And blogging, recording videos is much harder because I put on my happy face, my cheerful voice, when I’m not feeling it – harder than one might imagine, and actually one of the hardest things I do, actually. Again, exhausting.

SHORT-TERM MEMORY – What was I saying?

The day-to-day-ness of it all is wearing. Knowing that I can make plans and not be able to follow through. Knowing that most plans will exhaust my brain – and therefore, me – or will knock me down for days after, or that I will “pay” for a better, more productive day, or that if I try to push through to accomplish – and yes, on my anxiety days I especially feel driven to do so – fresh misery will follow.

I still have good moods most of the time, still feel hopeful, still have the joy that is part of me, and much love and joy in my life; the rotten stuff is only in my body and can’t touch my spirit. Being human it does affect me and my life of course and that’s what I shared here.

Since being seen – finally! – and heard – finally! – at a neurology clinic last week, and being put on some meds (one of which has helped about 50% with pain relief, I can use it occasionally-not-too-often for the worst pain, I am so thankful for that!), with further testing to follow, I have more hope than I have had in the last 6 months that my life won’t always be like this.

Lastly my beloved friend and sister in Christ Cathy told me about a vlogger on YouTube that recently shared about her TBI experience. She is still recovering 2 years later, but she shared 3 videos about her accident and recovery and though in some ways her brain injury was worse than mine I found her story so very relatable and it has not only given me more hope but also encouraged me to share more about my own experience here. If you are interested, https://youtu.be/TkjFtlDVAxw?si=34cK8BtemUXfQn4v is the link to Susannah’s 1st video about her TBI.