WE ARE MORE
Studying humans, researchers have found that we are easily influenced. More importantly, we more easily influence others than we give ourselves credit for.
For instance, “paying it forward” (I hate the game). I don’t owe you anything and I dislike purposely influencing someone else either. Nevertheless, multiple studies have shown that a simple intentional act can result in multiple unintentional intentional acts by others who have received or seen our intentional act. In other words, paying for the next person’s coffee may not affect the behavior of the next one in line, but may impact either the cashier or the second person in line.
Another is the “5 second rule.” In this “game” two people are involved in a discussion which is ramping up. If person A and person B are becoming louder and more obnoxious toward each other, but then person A takes a 5 second break, suddenly the tension is reduced or broken. Often they can either abandon the discussion or reduce the intensity. The one person just influenced him/herself AND the other person.
Again, in a book called “The As If Principal,” by Richard Wiseman, we are showered with stories of experiments on human psychology based on William James‘ theories. In experiment after experiment the researchers were able to casually increase the happiness of test subjects through minor changes. In one, they merely asked people to walk a set distance making sure to swing their arms and take long strides. Yup! They found this group reported much more happiness than an opposing group which did not swing their arms and who took shorter strides. Behaving joyfully resulted in more inner peace, and an uplifted mood. Another experiment merely had person A smile at person B (vs a group where person A did not). They found that the persons who received a smile were happier as well as the persons who did the smiling.
APPLICATION
Four things:
1. You can have a tremendous impact on others.
2. AND yourself.
3. Others can have a tremendous impact on you and themselves.
4. This truth is not lost on advertisers, news reporters, and politicians.
First, you have a greater ability to influence yourself than you have been told. This is true even when you KNOW you are doing it to yourself. So, do you smile when alone? Do you read uplifting articles? Do you look for the good around you (the tidy garden, the flowers, the beauty of nature)? They found, for instance, that a single joke can change your mood: Bill Watterson (Calvin and Hobbs) is quoted as saying “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it never tried to contact us.” Even stuffy poets got into the act when Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.”
Second, you have a greater ability to influence others than you have been told. In a study of an entire city over several months the researchers had thousands of test subjects exposed to happy events. They tested thousands of others (not in the experimental group) prior to and post study. They found the happiness score of the city had improved as a result of their study. It was a “ripple effect” (my wife gave me that sentence). People who were not directly exposed to the study’s happy events were happier after the experiment.
Third, you are impacted by events you did not even see or hear about. A sneaky actor can excite a small group about a particular product and you might be influenced to buy that product. It happened, too. Birkenstock shoes and sandals were basically going out of business slowly until a small group of college kids started wearing them as “status” symbols. Birkenstock had nothing to do with it but suddenly their sales doubled, then doubled again. People who, months earlier, had no desire to buy or wear Birkenstocks were suddenly “interested” in Birkenstocks. Birkenstock still was doing absolutely no additional advertising.
Finally, for good or ill, people with agendas promote their ideas and products using the very same influential forces noted above. You should be aware. When a group pushes climate change, or anti-plastics, or the need to electrify, or even the yummy-ness of a toasted morsel … they are attempting to drag you along. It works, too! It almost always does. It works because they use simple things which have always worked, such as smiles, happy movements, fear, disgust, etc.
The funny thing is that I, even being aware of the tricks, am influenced.
You should see the list of news headlines I have recorded. One of the most recent is about the Ford Maverick truck which has a glitch in its back-up camera. The truck is so small that the owner doesn’t even need the camera, the regular mirrors are sufficient. Yet the headline calls the problem “a major glitch.” It is merely an aggravation. They are being recalled. The problem will be fixed. You will survive. Why call the problem “major?” It is to INFLUENCE the reader. The news has thus gone beyond reporting in order to sell their product (news). This is merely one small illustration among thousands of instances we experience weekly. It isn’t lying…quite.
SOLUTION
You can’t control the universe (not directly anyway). You can control yourself. Find ways to improve how YOU feel about yourself and the world around you. Funny thing is YOU CAN!!!!!! Even better, no one can stop you.
The second funny thing is by doing so you are subtly changing the world around you (controlling the universe). Others don’t even know why they feel happier and calmer when you are nearby. Even if they did know why, they would still feel that way.
We are more.
By the way, I am hoping to share my thoughts on I Corinthians 14:34-35 (NIV) soon. Not promising anything, but it looks hopeful. It contains an interesting mystery. First, Paul SEEMS to say something sexist. Second, Paul makes reference to The Law (as he writes to a church composed of both Jews and Gentiles, so…). Third, there seems to be some hidden historical data. Fourth, the odd context (writing about order in worship). Some have banned the ordination of women. Was that the intent … or, is there something else at work here?
[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]
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Interestingly enough, these are things that my father taught me a lot about, albeit without studies or experiments to prove the points. He was a strong advocate of smiling genuinely at anyone with whom we make eye contact or communications, being silent when raised voices begin (my mother added a stern stare to that one!), and being sincerely caring and uplifting – by means of a well-deserved compliment, noticing and commenting on positive attributes, and so forth – with the people around us. It was clear that people were drawn to him wherever he went, and his impact was evident by the length of the procession at his funeral. Making a conscious effort to emulate those principles which you shared here, and as shown by example in my dad’s life, truly does make all the difference in our universe!
Thanks, owly.
While some people are outgoing and natural influencers, and some have their own sites trying to influence others for the influencer’s benefit … it is not actually difficult to influence others for their own benefit.
That is a skill not many realize they have, and can use. As you say, it could be a smile or hearty laugh. It could be a firm handshake, or a kind word. Humans are MADE for this!!! We, the ordinary folk, are more than we are told. Like your father, we all can have a huge impact on others.