GUEST POST from Don – Alexithymia

ALEXITHYMIA

A recent study suggests that one possible cause of autism is a cold or flu during pregnancy.  Possible, I suppose.  However autismspeaks.org says, “Research tells us that autism tends to run in families, and a meta-analysis of 7 twin studies claim that 60 to 90% of the risk for autism comes from your genome.”  Therefore, I wouldn’t put much faith in the cold during pregnancy theory.

By the way, there are now Autism Certified Destinations – https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20240923-how-autism-certified-destinations-are-changing-travel

Now the word:  Alexithymia.  Just the facts and maybe some anger.  Repeat when you sense you are not being understood.

Most people respond to emotions, not facts.  Facts don’t convey emotion (or even facts) to ordinary folk.  Neurotypical folk use emotional language to express facts and emotions.  Listen to most politicians and you will hear mostly emotional language, and very few facts.  

There are people, however, who do not understand emotions or have an extremely limited ability to do so.  Thus, someone who cannot speak or understand emotional language has a disadvantage.  They cannot sense when another is angry, sad, happy, amused, or annoyed.  They have no internal markers for their own self, either.

Although factually incorrect, “The Good Doctor” TV series did portray an individual who had difficulty speaking with emotional language.  The character fit only a limited set of the various problems of a person on the spectrum.  A highly factual (or fact-driven) person is perceived as lacking intelligence.  That is often not the case.

The first letter of the BIG WORD at the top of this page tells most of the story.  “A” is a negative for all that follows.  LEXITHYMIA is “the ability to speak about the emotions” of oneself and others.  ALEXITHYMIA is having “no words for feelings.”

It is about the words and understanding the concepts.  A person with this condition cannot describe how they “feel.”  Quite often they do not understand why others are behaving irrationally … because they do not quite understand emotional responses to events.  They cannot connect crying at a funeral with the fact that grandpa is dead.  However, they CAN display anger and use manipulation to “get their way.”  Getting their way may be an attempt to control their environments.

A girlfriend was bawling.  Her boyfriend did not understand.  He wanted to know what happened.  She wasn’t speaking, just crying.  Finally he asked, “Did someone die?”  A little while later she told him it was because he hadn’t told her he loved her in a long time.  He still didn’t understand because he did everything he could to care for her.  Eventually SHE found the reason and explained it…she needed affirmation.  He still don’t know what to do with that information.  He understood the words, he just couldn’t see a connection between the facts and the emotions.  On the other hand he needed communication of another sort.  She wasn’t talking about her day at work, her plans for the next week, or anything.  He needed facts, lots of facts.  Her world was emotion-driven, his was fact-driven.  By the way, this is not a story of an ordinary guy.  No!  The normal male is NOT like this.  The normal male may be reticent to speak about emotions and feeling.  Reticence to speak emotionally is not the same as inability to do so.

It is true that many males dislike talking about emotions.  They are “reticent.”  They find no enjoyment in it, and often have no need to do so.  However, they DO understand emotions.  A male (or female) on almost normal end of the autism spectrum, however, MAY NOT understand emotions.  They lack internal reference points for them.  So, they don’t always know that they are being offensive, insensitive, or rude.  They can’t “read” correctly the emotions of others.  Sometimes they get it right only because they have learned to observe behavioral changes, like arm folding when angry.  However, they often do not make tonal connections which make the difference in meaning.  In that way they are much like your texting friend who just misunderstood your texted joke (didn’t see it as a joke because he/she could not hear your voice).

Alexithymia is just one difference between a high functioning Aspergers being and a neurotypical one.  Aspergers is on the autism spectrum, but those with it don’t necessarily look different than ordinary folk.

Good news for those anticipating a study on 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 … it is complete and ready to edit, then will post in 3 parts.

[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]

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2 thoughts on “GUEST POST from Don – Alexithymia

  1. This is very interesting, Don. Thank you for your illuminating treatment of how some people just don’t have the capacity to understand and interpret emotions in their everyday lives.

    1. Thank you, Sally!
      I don’t usually look back so far.
      Processing emotional responses involves two aspects.
      1. The subject must first know what emotions feel like. For some, of course, there is little they know about their own emotions. Almost everyone knows anger, but some have no ability to feel things like hopefulness.
      2. The subject needs to be able to understand the non-verbal (and verbal) cues that indicate when another person is feeling. Some understand self-emotions which they are unable to sense in others.
      No words for emotions involves so much.

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