HOME ALONE +
A recent news report related how a woman got in trouble because she left her child “alone” at home. But she didn’t. There were family members in an attached MIL apartment.
The story continues that an 8 year old walked to town (less than a mile) to get something he wanted. Let it be known that in many communities 8 year olds walk to school alone (and home), so I don’t see the problem. The problem, for the mother, was not that he walked to town, but that he didn’t communicate that he planned to do so.
However, the township is looking into charging her with child endangerment.
It got me to thinking, “When is it considered safe for your child to stay home alone?” That turns out to be a very sticky question.
According to a non-profit group Safe Kids Worldwide, most states don’t even have a law about this. In the case mentioned above, this 8 year old was far more mature than most 8 year olds. He was home schooled, used to making decisions, and generally free to go for a walk whenever he wanted in the nearby woods. He was not one to get into trouble. In other words, he was better prepared to be alone than most his age.
In 4 states (Oklahoma*, Maryland, South Carolina, or Minnesota) 8 is plenty old to be left alone, in Oklahoma it is age 7 (first grade). In 3 more, age 9 is fine. In 4 more, age 10 is fine. Illinois is the most restrictive state, requiring supervision at home until age 14. Michigan, along with a slew of other states, has no law in place. Weirdly, Georgia requires supervision until age 12, but a 13 year old can be a supervisor (babysitter).
One would think that would be all a parent needs to know … and one would be wrong. Even without a state statute, a parent can get into hot water if a child left alone becomes injured or wanders off. Protective services will be called.
Therefore, great care must be taken if a parent plans to leave a child under age 16 alone in any state. First, the child should have some training and information. The child should know how to contact you or another nearby adult in case of an emergency. If calling 911 the child should know the address of the home, and emergency procedures (what to do in case of fire, for example).
Clear communication of what is allowed and what is not might be handy. “Do your homework before watching TV.”
The child should have a general idea of how long you will be absent. Then you should show up earlier, never later.
However, since this is not intended as a training for leaving kids at home, much more should be practiced and communicated. You should seek help so that you do it correctly.
My point is, even if you do it all the right way, kids don’t always follow directions (some adults don’t either). You should have a general trust in your child. In today’s world (assuming the child is normal) perhaps 7 is a bit young, but 14 certainly is too much the other way for this responsibility. If a child cannot be trusted, then 21 is not old enough. Maturity is not bestowed by one’s age.
DREAMS
As one might suspect from several of my stories, dreams sometimes play a big part in my life, not that I attach much meaning to them generally.
Reading about what others dream is interesting (on an overcast, windy day). For some reason, many people dream in shades of gray or low degrees of color. It is as though their brains don’t remember color. Others experience sensations such as odors, textures, or sounds. A few experience vibrant colors as well. I have found almost no one who dreams jokes or interesting story-lines which do not include oneself.
I do. Last night I dreamt a joke (don’t blame me if you don’t find it funny). It went like this: The wandering Israelites crossed the Jordan River on their way into the Promised Land. They came to the walled city of Jericho. The gates were closed. There was a sign at the first gate which read “Go around.” So, they did. On the last day when they went to march around Jericho someone had placed a new sign at the gate “Doorbell out of order. Shout.”
Like I said, don’t blame me … it was a dream joke.
Easter morning I awoke while dreaming of a story line. I published it a month or so later HERE. I raced to get it all down on paper before the thoughts left (as dreams sometimes do). It’s not the best story I’ve ever read, but I imagine it is the best dreamt story you’ve ever read.
Most of my dreams have a singular purpose, “GET UP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM!” However, I have found dreams helpful as well to work out a troubling glitch in a story-line, or a new direction. I have dreamt many jokes and even puns (most aren’t worth the time to tell). Most often my brain works out solutions to personal problems (“Let go and relax.” “Tell your wife kindly how you feel about what happened.” etc.)
Right now I’m writing a short story (merely a chapter) based upon a half sentence I read in Psalms 120:4. My dreaming helped to decide on a story-line to fit it. And for about 2 weeks I’ve been asking my dreams to find a path forward on a murder mystery plot.
Dreams can do some heavy lifting if you give them a chance.
[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]
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If you occasionally leave your older children (under 18) unattended at any time (other than at school…where no one is in charge of your children and you aren’t permitted) … don’t mention it anywhere. There are people who will not see this as training to be self-sufficient adults (apparently that is what college is for).