MY PARENTS WERE RIGHT
Don’t you hate it when you disagree with someone who’s right?
First, WHY were they right? Good question. They were right because they had a 25 year head start. They had experienced failure, loss, icky diapers, sleepless nights, and the common cold. Thus, they knew stuff. They knew shortcuts AND when not to take them.
Second, WHY weren’t they right? Another good question (just not as useful). They weren’t always right when talking about current events, other’s attitudes, and what young folk are like. They may have made assumptions about intent. And they thought their way was the only way.
Yet, my parents were worthy of a listen. I wonder now why I didn’t write it down. Following are some samples:
1. “Why don’t we have supper at home?” They would pull together a feast with simple items already in the refrigerator … more than enough for everyone. It would feel special because they had a big table and eight could sit and share food and conversation. Compare that to some scene you’ve likely seen: DoorDash delivery of a few bags. Everyone sitting looking at their small screens while munching lukewarm burgers and fries … in the living room … no one talking about their experiences, hopes, or dreams.
2. My dad would say, “I might as well get paid for being sick.” He also went to work on his birthday and anniversary. He never called off for a shift unless he had surgery, or had to go to a funeral. A strong work ethic is not practiced much now it seems. I know one guy who took off whenever he wanted to go fishing. Of course, his paycheck reflected his lack of effort. My dad also completed every assignment. Others didn’t care. They’d “put in” their 8 hours, but not accomplish very much.
3. A friend’s mother often said, “That’s between you and the Good Lord, or the Devil, as the case may be.” By that he learned that he was in control of his own behaviors. He had a choice, and he had to take responsibility for it.
4. Another friend mentioned that his mother always said “I hate liars.” But what he remembers most is that his mother lied (but excused her own). He learned the real lesson: “Don’t be a hypocrite; mean what you say.” I agree. Simply, my wife and I did not promise things to our kids we were not certain we could do. For example, we avoided mentioning a trip to the playground if the forecast was rain. Honesty was that important.
5. “Let’s plant a garden.” We always had more peas and green beans than I cared to weed. But we also had cucumbers (think shelves of pickles in the root cellar), squash, tomatoes (more canned stuff), onions, green peppers, radishes, and sometimes sweet corn. It tasted wonderful. There is nothing like fresh green garden onions and a little salt. Bad breath is a small side effect of the joyous munch. Did we save money? We had the land, child labor, our neighbor turned the soil for free, and we didn’t have to mow it. Savings? YES. Plus we had things to do on summer evenings.
6. “This too shall pass.” Not original, but useful. When I’m in the dentist chair or when I stub a toe it is useful. I can do just about anything if I know it is time-limited.
7. “Wear clean underwear.” I’m sure your doctor will appreciate it, but mostly you not only feel more emotionally comfortable, but I’ve found that fresh underwear feel better when times are tough. It is more for your own comfort than anyone else’s; and you are WORTH that investment.
8. “A secret isn’t a secret the moment you tell someone.” Some “live” for telling secrets. When you tell that person (her name was “tele-susan”) it will soon be known all over. There are few you can trust with that which you don’t want anyone else to know (like the password to your online bank account). Sometimes even a spouse cannot be told (like how you detest your brother-in-law.) I have made it a life-goal to know how reliable my friends are. If I don’t share much he can’t hurt me much; but if he can be trusted I may tell him more.
9. “Don’t let anyone waste your time.” There is a backstory. A relative was in a long-term relationship hoping for the day her beau would get on bended knee. At the end of 5 years he still hadn’t. She asked whether he ever intended to marry her. He said, “No.” She said “Good-bye, then.” Science tells us that if you aren’t ready to marry after 24 months you should cut your losses and move on. Some know as early as 18 months. There is a 6 month “use by” window.
10. “Be the best student you can be in the first month, everyone else will be playing ‘catch up’.” It is true that how others perceive you is often more important than what you really are. In school, at work, and on a committee it is best to be the top version of yourself from the very beginning. You don’t have to brag on yourself, let your work do that. It is easier to earn an “A” or “B” average if you don’t start with poor assignment scores.
11. “You don’t have to fail to learn a lesson.” Most people think failure is the best teacher, but actually success is. Yet, that it “worked” doesn’t mean it cannot be improved. I was a top-notch service technician, but when I began to look for ways to improve I began to make more money. (How can I change the service route to add time to my work-day? How can I organize the appointment to take advantage of the time allotted? How can I increase customer satisfaction?) For example, I figured out is that landlords hated showing up for appointments and tenants could be unreliable. So, I asked for the tenant’s phone number so I could call ahead and thus have fewer broken appointments. It reduced my losses by ~30%.
12. “Close the door, we aren’t heating the outdoors.” Realize that poor choices cost something. Don’t open the window when the AC is on. Don’t stand in front of an open refrigerator thinking about what snack you want. :Waste today means you have fewer options tomorrow: “Your eyes are bigger than your stomach,” so take only what you need. Buy a house that fits your needs (not your wants), and do the same with buying a car.
13. “Go outside and play.” It is good to get off your computer, your face away from the TV, and your neck back in place after swiping your phone. Connect with the real world and discover all it has to offer. Try out a swing, walk a path, explore a meadow and watch butterflies and bumblebees.
What did you learn from your parents? Maybe you should thank them?
Copyright 2026 Donald Whelpley
[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]
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