39 SECONDS
[I have no degree in nutrition.]
Life patterns matter. One study suggests that if I don’t eat the 17 McCheesburgers this year I will live 39 seconds longer (unless I’m starving to death).
I like cheeseburgers … a lot! Especially when I have the hangrys. I make poor decisions when hangry. Actually, I have difficulty thinking beyond “f-o-o-d” at those moments. Don’t ask me a question. My wife has made the mistake of asking “What do you want to eat?” Cave-man ME does not care even a little “what.” “Me hungry, you feed.” Does it matter at that moment that it may be taking seconds off my life? It should matter to YOU that all I want is food. I will snap, bite, growl, howl, … in fact I might do anything to get you to take care of my immediate need. My loss of 39 seconds is your opportunity to live for decades. For you I think that is a fair trade.
What are the last 39 seconds of anyone’s life like? Unless it is very very sudden, most have a horrible last 39 seconds. I’ve been in the rooms with several dying souls. Those opportunities I considered a privilege. I took the time very seriously. Those souls may not have known someone was with them, but there was a chance that the end was just slightly better as a result of my presence. Nevertheless, most of the time those 39 seconds were hard. Painful, even. One man had advanced cancer. There was nothing to do but be there for him.
Claiming that certain foods will shorten one’s life is assuming to know things about your future which can’t be known. It might reduce your lifespan IF you survive that plane crash, if you survive the next hurricane, if you survive the terrorist bombing, if you don’t fall and break a hip, if you don’t overdose on Tylenol because you forgot it is also an ingredient in your cold medicine, if you don’t die from looking at your phone while walking, etc. Will you live long enough for those seconds to matter?
Some things do matter a bunch. Sucking anything foreign into your lungs on a daily basis matters on the negative side. For a short while we thought that e-cigs were “safe.” Not so much. Coal dust, cement dust, hay dust, flour dust, smoke of any kind, smog, even flavored steam … they shorten lives. Good idea to avoid those.
So, not eating those 17 McCheesburgers would extend my pain at the end? No thanks! I’ll enjoy the food now, thank you.
Another study suggested that ingesting ONE hot dog could shorten your life by 36 minutes. That I could see! Well, actually no. I have an interesting take on what our bodies can do. A lifetime smoker who quits at age 50, actually restores his lungs and heart to pre-smoking levels in 5-15 years.* (*Actually, some things are restored quickly, and other risks take a lot longer. The sooner you stop the better.) So, he will live a lifespan much closer to what it should have been (as if he had never taken the first puff) if he makes it through those 5-15 years.
I know a bit about the dangers of insecticides having handled them almost daily for 30 years. Early on I was VERY concerned. Then I found a study which reported average lifespans for people of various professions. Except for one sub-group of pest control operators, those who did pest control for a living had AVERAGE lifespans. (The sub-group was made up of those who smoked in addition to doing pest control. They had a shorter lifespan than most smokers.) The point: If you are not being stupid with chemicals, are careful to wash your hands regularly, and don’t smoke … the human body can break down a bit of insecticide and eliminate it. Our bodies are truly amazing!
When I became an adult I wondered how to get the right nutrition. No one had taught me. I never saw my mom studying a nutrition chart before making supper. Strangely, my body didn’t seem to notice. My gut has the incredible ability to take proteins however they are delivered, as well as fats, carbs, and vitamins. It uses what I give it as long as I give it enough variety.
Don’t get me wrong. If you have a BAD HABIT of eating hot dogs, shark fin soup, or even 7 eggs per week you should re-think your diet. There is much value in feeding your gut the correct things, but my point is that the human body is absolutely amazing. It can take potato chips and suck out the carbs it needs, the oils it needs, and the sodium it needs. Rice, or fruit are better for you, but the human body is very flexible. It isn’t wise to abuse it, but once in a blue moon you can eat nearly anything. Our bodies are tuned to survive on anything of nutritional value like squid, turtle eggs, or even crickets.
There are times when obeying strict nutrition rules are required or helpful. Some have life-threatening responses to nuts. (Yah! Avoid all nuts.) Some respond poorly to gluten and do better if they avoid it but could eat it if they were starving. (Avoid that when possible.) I also know that cancers and other things can change what is appropriate to eat. So, let me say here that my comments are not for every person. However, if you are Vegan by choice, eating a chili hot dog will not kill you. That’s just truth! I occasionally enjoy a good salad. (But please! No tofu! They say it wouldn’t kill me but why risk it?)
So the study is 99% wrong. One hot dog will not kill you 36 minutes sooner than you would have otherwise died. The human body can break down and use that sucker (if you don’t keep eating them every day) and then excrete the overages. Did you know that your body will even use your extra belly fat (if you give it a chance) and most of it will leave through your lungs. You breathe it out (that’s why people on strict diets often have bad breath).
Should we ignore these studies? We should not. But we should take them with a grain of NaCl.
Copyright 2025 Donald Whelpley
[PLEASE NOTE that Don is always open to discussing the thoughts and opinions he shares here and welcomes comments as shared in the comment section. He doesn’t use other social media platforms and won’t see whatever you’d like to share with him if you post it elsewhere.
ALSO, Don is always open to offer his thoughts on various topics. If you have a specific request, you can let him know in a comment; he reads – and replies to – them all. ~ Sherry]
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