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Tuesday Titters – August 1, 2023 Edition (with alt-texts)

Posted on August 1, 2023Updated on August 1, 2023by owlyCategories:I Couldn't Have Said It Better!, Mirth

Text only: I just melted an ice cube with my mind by staring at it. It took a lot longer than I thought.

2 photos: top photo is an aerial view of a dark green forest, with the text, "How much spinach you cook." Bottom photo is a plate with a tiny pile of dark green spinach with the text, "How much you end up with."

Cartoon in 2 frames; both show a mother giraffe and a child giraffe. 1st frame child is at a table working on homework, a calculator by his side and he is saying, "Math class is so pointless. When am I ever gonna need to know calculus?" 2nd frame mom is next to child, hand/hoof on his shoulder, replying "You don't study calculus in school to learn calculus. You study calculus in school to learn that life is cruel and unfair."

Organizing your finances is key! Me: 2 photos of coins in a hand; in the first one the coins are stacked haphazardly; in the second one the coins are arranged neatly by size.

Photo of a huge dinosaur skeleton in a museum. Visitor: "How old is that Tyrannosaurus skeleton?" Guide: "70,000,006 years." Visitor: "Wow! How can you be so precise?" Guide: "They told me it was 70,000,000 years old when I started working here."

Text at top: Right now they're arguing over who lost the keys... [photo of people in a black car, keys hanging from the lock outside] Should I tell them or just sit back and laugh?

News: Deadly heatwave is coming. Southern People: [photo of a man with a puzzled look on his face] You mean summer?

Cartoon with a middle aged husband and wife walking on a beach; 2 shapely blond gals in bikinis are walking toward them. Wife is telling husband, "Darling, theyre fifty yards away! You'll never hold your stomach in that long!"

Text only: The first 50 years of childhood are always the hardest.

Photo of 2 children from the 60s (according to how they're dressed) playing Jarts - a now-outlawed game using long pointed darts that are thrown into a ring) on the lawn. Caption: Toss the darts, treat the wounded, tally the points. Repeat until only one child remains.

"Just one more cast" photo of 2 men standing on a fishing boat with fishing piles in their hands. Caption: equivalent to a woman saying she'll be ready in 5 minutes

Text only: I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will stay until she apologizes!

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